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Adoption Community Information
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| Just a teenager! |
Date Posted: 08-24-2008 at 12:18 AM |
Mood:  I was 18, fresh out of high school and ambitious or should I say mischievous. I was enrolled at WVU and ready to start my degree in engineering there, going with 2 friends from high school. I realized days before class started that I could not afford school, so I continued my job at walmart. It was a poor decision at the time but one the turned out to make me who I am today. I made decent money, worked full time, had an apartment with a coworker. One night we went out drinking, i got caught underage, and my journey began. I lost my license and had fines to pay. As I stood in walmart waiting on hold with the FBI, doing a background check for a gun purchase for some 30ish year old, I saw a coworker in his late 20s, still working at walmart. A few hours later I quit my job. This was a Friday night. By sunday I had moved up to Harrisburg with my parents. Monday I had my dad take me to the recruiters office. I was spontaneous and this was my chance to do something different. My dad was prior Navy, I choose Air Force. We walked into Sgt Millers office, he tried to give me the What we have to offer spiel, but I told him I had already decided to join. I told him about the trouble I had been in, and we new it would be some time before I would be accepted. The next weekend my parents went out of town, leaving me home with my 16 year old sister. She had a girlfriend over to spend the night. Nearly three years younger than me, but we hit it off. In hindsite this was inappropriate, but its where my story begins. She was nearly 16, beautiful and mature beyond her years. She had practically raised her sister while he mom worked and she was a good girl. We dated until I was shipped out 3 months later. I new due to our age and due to my desire to start a new life, that we had to break it off. I said goodbye to her on Feb 8th 2000. Basic was rough, but I succeded, being a distinguished graduate and loving the new found structure to my life. I kept in contact with Michelle but new I would be far away. During my schooling I got orders to move to Germany. But before shipping over, I visited home, but Michelle was dating someone. I went on with my life/career in Germany. I spent 2 years partying it up as a 19/20 year old. I dated, had one sexual encounter (I had lost my virginity to Michelle prior to this), I made friends, traveled the world, but never lost site of Michelle. We kept in touch and during my drunken state would call her and miss her. While sober I tried to tune my feelings out, but alchohol showed my true intentions. During Feb of 2002, I was sent to the Pentagon/Crystal City for 2 weeks. I took this as an oppurtunity to visit my family that I hadnt seen in 2 years. I also contacted Michelle. She was now 18, I 21, and she was single. We hit it off like we had never parted. It was amazing, something I will never ever forget. The week came to an end and my flight left for Germany. I had fun for the week, but it was just a fling, and I was headed back to my party in Germany!! Or so I thought. I got back to my drinking and my emotions returned, little did I know, or remember, that my drunk dialing would change my life forever. I asked Michelle to marry me. We discussed it once I was sober the next day, and my proposal still stood. She said yes. A few days later, I shipped off to Kuwait. Michelle was back in the states planning a wedding upon my return. I was off in Kuwait doing my thing. Unfortunatly I was extended and missed our initial wedding date. When I returned back to Germany I was given orders to move to Italy. We replanned the wedding to coincide with this move. August 24th, we walked down the aisle. 6 years ago tody!!!!! |
| Married life begins!!! And the trying starts!!! |
Date Posted: 08-29-2008 at 02:36 AM |
Mood:  Freshly married, our time apart began. We were married in Pennsylvania on the 24th of August. We spent a week in Ocean City marylan, but a few days after that, I shipped off to Italy. I had orders to be stationed there and we were very excited. Unfortunatly, we needed a passport and Visa for Michelle. I left the beggining of September and arove at our new home. IT WAS AMAZING!! So beautiful. About 30 minutes north of Venice in a town at the base of the Italian alps. It took 2 months for Michelles paperwork to go through and on Sept 11th I picked her up at the airport. I had already found us a house to live in, BIG MISTAKE CHOOSING ON MY OWN!! It was huge and we were young and broke and didnt have any furniture to put in it. But we made do, and enjoyed each other day in and day out. We had talked about babies, but wanted to wait 3 years. We wanted to enjoy each other, travel Europe and get our honeymoon years out of us. This all changed less than a year later, when on July 4th 2003, while hanging out with a couple with 5 kids!!!, we decided we wanted a family. That night we got to it, but days turned into months of trying. While it was fun, we didnt understand. I finally went to the doctor and they tested both of us. I will never forget that day when the Colonel sat in the room with me and told me I would never have children. Michelle was in the waiting room, and I had no idea what to do. I couldn't control myself, but I pulled it together and went out and left with Michelle. On the way home, I stopped and told her. It was devastating. I was 22 and couldn't have kids. I turned to the booze for a few weeks, but realized that was dumb and decided to figure this all out. In the coming months, I was poked proded and led on a wild chase. Just when I was about to have surgery, I was shipped off to the middle east. When I got back, I got orders back to the states. This put a time crunch on us, so we waited to investigate what was wrong with me. In the mean time, it took a huge toll on Michelle. She became depressed around people with other children, and the sex drive went away. She couldnt understand why some people can have kids, so easily and here we were, trying so hard, and nothing. It sucked to say the least, but us moving to Virginia would be good, because they have great medical care. We got to virginia in Sept 2005, 2 years had passed since we first tried to concieve. Once there things went fast, I had surgery in January and it didnt help, surgery in march and it didnt help. We had discust adoption and met with an agent, but they said Michelle was to young. We turned to Donor sperm and tried at home inseminations. We had our hopes up, but month after month, we were disappointed. It was killing us financially and emotionally. I headed back to Iraq in late 2006. I had been there nearly 2 months, when Michelle told me she was pregnant. The donor sperm had worked. We told friends and family, and finally we thought things were better. 7 weeks into the pregnancy, I got notice while out and about, that Michelle had a miscarriage. I was devastated. Work was rough at the time and I couldn't contact Michelle very well. She went through the miscarriage alone. I returned in late 2007, and we decided to take some time off trying. This only last a few months, and I got orders to move to Guam. We new we had to do something. They dont have the medical support we need. We turned to Invitro Fertilization, IVF. We used donor sperm and went through the months of shots, and the insane price tag. January 2008 they transfered the eggs and we waited. We were to fly out Feb 21st. Feb 14th, valentines day, we tested!! We were pregnant again. The announcement went out to friends and family and we flew out the following week!! We were in a new home and were pregnant. But at her first doctors appointment and ultrasound, the nurse found nothing. Just an empty sac. We had miscarried again. Michelle went into a deep depression. IT SUCKED. It was early March 2008 and we had been trying nearly 5 years. We had spent $20,000 or so dollars and we didnt know what to do. In April we decided to start saving for adoption. A friend set up a website for us, www.helpafamilyadopt.com , and we got the word out we were looking to adopt. I dont remember the exact date, Michelle would tho. But I think it was early may when a friend of a friend told us she wanted more info on our plans to adopt. We thought we had 2 years or so to save up and to look into international adoption. We thought this process would be long and drug out and we had time. Little did we know that "K" was 7 months pregnant and was about to come into our life!!!! |
| Scrambling to figure it all out!!! |
Date Posted: 08-29-2008 at 09:46 PM |
Mood:  We were stunned, happy, sad, excited and scared that it all happened so quickly!!! We new it was expensive and being a military family, I don't make the best money in the world. We new we needed a home study, but where we live we had no idea how to go about this. I started researching social workers, and found one in Japan. We flew her out here immediately to do our interviews and all. This was EXTREMELY expensive, but we had to do it, she expedited it all and within 2 weeks we had delivered our completed home study to our attorney back in the states. In early June, we decided it was time to meet the birth mom. My wife flew back to the states and flew down to her home state to meet her. She met the attorney, the birthmom and her family. She was only 18, has a 4 year old and lives with her parents. They hti it off well and all seemed good. We were waiting on the Birth Father to sign over parental rights. Late june we got word that he refused to sign, we thought it was all over But after talking to him, we decided I needed to fly back and meet him and her. After a short meeting at the attorneys office, we hashed it all out and he signed over perntal rights. We spent the next 3 weeks down there waiting for the birthday.July 30th that day came. Baby Girl was born healthy and I got to cut her umbilical cord!!! Now we had the mandatory 48 hours till the Birth Mother could sign the papers. These 48 hours were hard. The Birth Mother started to get attached, but realized she couldnt raise two children. Luckily she signed the papers. "K" will always be our saving grace. She gave us a child we so desperatly wanted, and we now have the chance to raise Baby Girl in a stable environment!!! But unfortunatly, I had to fly back overseas. My wife and baby girl went back to my parents house to wait for the paperwork to be completed. We couldnt take the baby out of the US without a passport. Wed the court signed the paperwork authorizing us to get a passport. On Sept 4th my wife will go to get it, and Sept 6th, she will fly with Baby Girl out to be with me!!!! This has been a very very long road. But I realize it has been much harder for most. We didnt have to go through the matching phase and all. It worked in a very short 3 months and we are for ever thankful!!!! |
 Recent Comments: |
| Re: Father Of One |
By Nikki70(09-04-2008 at 07:45 PM) |
| Yes I encourage you to do so |
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