Blessings to the reader!
My name is Melissa and I am a mom by adoption to my 2, beautiful miricle babies. My dh and I started our journey back in '98 to start a family but didn't really ttc until in '99. Adoption was in both our hearts as an option. We started the adoption part of our journey in 2000 though our state of Oregon and realized we were not ready. We decided to continue to ttc but nothing was happening. We both began tests and in Jan. 2001, we decided that we should start again on our path to adoption (we found out 1 year and 3 months later that we were infertile). We prayed over our child, born or yet to be born, that God would protect them always and prepare them for us and us for them. We prayed that they would come from a Christian home that would pray for them as well. August 2001 our homestudy finally got certified. Our wait was not easy. My heart ached so much to be a mother. I thought it would never happen and I prayed God would take away my desire to parent away. He didn't and I'm so glad. July 2002 we got our first call that we'd go to committee on a little girl. We were so excited. Later that night we got another call for a legally free little boy! The little boy was 12 mo. at the time and his committee was first. We were humbled and blessed by the news that we would get to become his mommy and daddy forever.
Our son was placed at about 13 1/2 mo old and was a dream come true for us. My heart labored to hold his precious self in my arms. God had a way of matchmaking us. Our son came from a Christian home (of our same denomination). They too were praying for a prayerful family to adopt him. They brought him home from the hospital after he was born. Our son was very protected most of the time he was in his bmom's womb as she was incarserated and therefore was able to receive care through a good part of the pregnancy. All those nights that I didn't think God heard me cry, I know now He did. He was doing things in His own time.
Our son's adoption finalized on his 2nd birthday. We had that ache in our hearts yet again to be mommy and daddy to an additional child. Again we started praying for our child, born or not born for protection and for a Christian family to watch and pray over them. If there was ever to be a lesson of faith in my life, it was going to be with the adoption of our second child.
We set out to do straight adoption again when in early 2003 we got a call from a cw who had a 5 mo old in need of a foster home. She told us that it looked like he'd be going to adoption. She wanted to move him to a home that might be open to adopting him as she didn't want to risk the possibility of him ending up in yet another foster home one day. My dh and I'd already discussed that we weren't open to foster but prayed about it feeling a peace about taking the risk. We thought, if nothing else, we would provide him a safe, loving home and would have the opportunity to pray for a great life for him. Not only that but we could learn so much from him too. We decided to go ahead. When I found out who the foster mom was, I could hardly believe it! I knew her! My aunt had tried to hook me up with her to learn more about special needs care in infants. This was a lady that we'd attended church together with some years back. She was praying for a Christan family for this baby. He was very well cared for by her since birth.
There was so much that happened durring this time that I started the "Keeping Your Faith" thread on the Christian adoptive parents forum. In the months to follow, paternity of the bfather had to be established, 3 relatives would come forward to express interest in adopting our baby, the bmom would pop in and out of the picture, once wanting to relinquish, another to try to take him...It was perhaps the most trying time in my life as I so confused as how to love this little baby with all my heart, yet keep my heart guarded.
In Sept. 2003, the paternal relatives that were interested gave their blessing on allowing our youngest son to remain with us if we would keep some openness with them. The wall around my hear came crashing down and I was able to love him with a part of me that I didn't realize was holding back. This had been an extremely difficult past 9 mo. The permanancy hearing happened recently which will start the TPR process on the bparents and has moved our son on the adoption track. We now wait for our current caretaker committee to tell us that--hopefully our son will remain here for adoption. My heart is much more at ease as our son's cw, cw's supervisor, our son's attorney, bdad's attorney, and paternal family all support him remaining here with us.
Our journey continues though hopefully we are out of the woods now. God has been gracious in holding my heart and my hand as I wonder what seems to be blindfolded in this process. I know He had His purpose for our boys to be with us and for us to be with them. I have never experienced such love that I feel for both my boys and I tear up as I can't imagine how much more my God loves us.
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