I just posted my intro thread. this all seems so surreal to me. All these years, I could have had the relationship I was wanting, but too scared to do anything. I am feeling very angry towards mom because I feel she's lied to me for that past 26 years. I'm not sure how to get past that. I've never been very trusting of her, but now that I know for sure she lied......
I was kinda hoping bdad would call last night, but I know we would have ended up talking for 2 hours and he'd go over his minutes on his phone. Besides, we're still packing! We leave tomorrow evening and I don't feel ready at all. I can't seem to focus on anything that has to do with the move. I even forgot to reserve a hotel room for our second night on the road. All I can think about is bdad. Remembering every little thing he's said in our conversations. Maybe I should have waited until I was moved to mail off the letter, but when I got the courage to do it, I was afraid I'd chicken out if I waited too long. Ok, off to packing I go. Oh, joy of joys. |
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