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Adoption Community Information
| Living in the Positive |
Date Posted: 10-13-2005 at 07:08 AM |
| I always try to live in the positive -- as dwelling on the negative never gets you anywhere, except further embroiled in a draining, painful quagmire of emotional (and sometimes physical) pain. I read a book once that was written primarily for people with life threatening illnesses, but it applied to everyone. It was called "You Can't Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought". I really believe that to be true.....and over the years, I've worked to apply that principle in my own life. When I face something that is unpleasant, painful or negative, I stop myself and look for all the positive things that could come from the situation -- and then I thank God for the opportunity to learn a new lesson. I find myself taking a deep breath and saying (either outloud or to myself) "Okay, Lord -- show me the lesson". You wouldn't believe the difference it makes!! Just that one deep breath, and changing the course of your thoughts with just those six words, can relax your mind and body, steady your breathing, and alter the perception of the situation you are in. I am also working on applying another concept in my life -- a "reprogramming" of my thought processes, if you will. The best way to explain it is by giving an example. I have a long day ahead of me. Instead of waking up, thinking "man, this is going to be a long day", I woke up and immediately thought "WOW! This is going to be a day filled with a lot of opportunities!" It's the same day, basically -- but changing the negative thought process that goes hand in hand with "a long day", to a "day filled with opportunities" makes a huge difference in how you wake up. The same things will take place either way I look at it....but choosing the best way to look at it makes a difference in how I will react, mentally, and physically thru out the day. A long day is something you can't wait to finish.......a day filled with opportunities is something you don't want to end. :0) I wonder how many people wish their lives away.......thinking about getting things "over with". I wonder how many people would change they way they think about things if they knew this would be their last day?? My boss passed away a couple of years ago from a brain aneurism. She was only 39 years old.....and most people who knew her would have considered her to be -- well -- not very pleasant. :0( She used to be.....in her younger years.....but she inherited the business she ran from her mother, and it was amazing to see the transformation that came over her, when that happened. I remember, fondly, the days when my huband and I used to go over to their house to "hang out". Her daughter had just been born, and they didn't have a pot to piss in. I remember when they had Bat Man sheets from their son's room hanging on the windows in the living room because they couldn't afford curtains.....but we had pitch ins (none of us had money in our early 20's) and had wonderful gatherings, grilling out and sharing life. Once she inherited the business, she changed. Everything became about money......they bought a half-million dollar home, and she showed up at work driving a Jag, instead of the "beater" she once drove. She walked thru the factory in a mink coat (among people that used to be her friends) to tell everyone that there wouldn't be a Christmas bonus that year (something we'd always gotten, and many depended upon to provide gifts for their families) because the company was cutting back -- and then she walked straight up to the front office and asked me to cut a check for her for $10,000 so she could have a private Christmas party for her friends. She sent limos to pick up her friends and neighbors that year, and rented an entire "swanky" restaurant for the party, which was catered with the finest of culinary treats. I remember one day when she came in after a "golf outing" with her gal pals, and said she'd lost her $30,000 diamond tennis bracelet on the golf course......she said, "Oh well" and just went on about her day as if nothing had happened!! I could have paid off my house with the money she spent on that tennis bracelet....but she couldn't care less -- she was off on another "tangent"......always thinking about the next "bauble" or the next "aquisition", with little to no thought about what was happening in the moment. One summer, her son went to a church retreat with some friends of his. He was, I think, about 14 at the time. They were not church going people, but her son had been invited by his friends, and so he went along, just to have something to do for a week that summer. Anyway, when he returned, he wanted to say grace at dinner that night. His mother said -- very seriously -- if anyone is going to be thanked for the meal on this table, it will be ME. I am the one who gives you everything you have, and if there's thankfulness to be given, it belongs to me." One winter evening, that same year, it was close to closing time, and I was talking to her on the phone. She was on her way to a meeting that she was late for. Forty five minutes later, she was dead. She had an aneurism right there in her car, where she had been talking to me. I wonder if she had known this was going to be her last day, would she have lived it differently? If, at the beginning of that year, she knew this would be the last year of her life, would she have changed her attitude....???? You never know.....I might get up from this desk and walk outside for the last time. How would I want to spend my last minutes? What would I want to have, in my heart, and in my mind in those last moments? In my estimation, whatever it is, I want it to be positive! |
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