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Adoption Community Information
| A little progress, a few roadblocks. |
Date Posted: 09-17-2005 at 10:43 AM |
| This search is interesting. I keep thinking I'll make a phone call to a county court house, or adoption agency, and walk out with some information, even a tidbit I didn't know before. That just doesn't seem to be the way it works. I got the name of a lawyer in Rochester who specializes in adoptions (and has an adopted son and knows our plight). He was most helpful. He told me the agency I was adopted through (North Haven) had merged with Hillside Children's Center which is still in existence, and has the records from North Haven. He also gave me an excellent contact name and phone number for the person I have to go through at Hillside. She was very nice and provided further contacts, but said she can't release any identifying or non-identifying information until she gets a request to do so from the New York State registry... I have to wait several weeks to several months for her to get that request! The lawyer also gave me a contact at the Monroe County Family Court (most likely the court that handled my case). I requested a copy of my Certificate of Adoption, and was told by the Judge's Secretary that those records are sealed, but she can send me a document stating that I am legally adopted. I asked her to send whatever she can. She started out quite rude, and had an accusing tone, asking me why I didn't have a copy already, and if I couldn't just get it from my Adoptive Mom, but ultimately seemed a little helpful. (I'm told that my amom burned the paperwork.) It's a start! The lawyer also said that, although I can file a petition to have the records opened, and I don't need a lawyer to do so, it's basically a waste of time in NY. I may do it anyway, just to roll the dice, and to show the court that adoptee's are interested in such things. I found the Angels Support Network in Rochester too. http://www.nyadoption.org/angels2.htm. They have meetings the 3rd Monday of every month, so I'm going to check it out. I started reading "The Primal Wound, Understanding the Adopted Child" by Nancy Newton Verrier. It's pretty good at descrbing some of my feelings, and their probably origins, but doesn't offer much in the way of learning how to heal the wound! I'm not completely falling apart here, but I would like to learn more about the adoption and how it affected me. I was looking for Psychologists or Therapists in the area who specialize in adoption issues, and only found one out of about 80 who specifically mentioned adoption issues in her ad. |
| Spoke with amom |
Date Posted: 09-18-2005 at 06:12 PM |
| My Adoptive Mother was pretty good about telling me everything she knew today, and offered some encouragement in my search. She told me the name of the case worker, and that both of my parents were students, and the name of the college! She provided everything she has, but no paperwork. I also found out that the court that issued my decree was Wayne County, not Monroe County. We'll see what Wayne County has to say tomorrow. |
| Beaurocracy! You CAN get a copy of your Certificate of Adoption! |
Date Posted: 09-19-2005 at 02:05 PM |
| It seems like the very first answer to any question pertaining to atoption is "Those records are sealed."! That was the second Secretary to tell me that without even listening to what I was really asking for. The Certificate of Adoption (at least in NY) is a document saying that the adoption was legal, and sanctioned by the court. It will probably only say what court I was adopted through, and when, but that could allow me to do a search of the court's Dockett Appearance Book, or a Minute Book Log. I could then compare that to the college yearbooks. If you haven't done it yet, you might check out NAIC's site and get their Adoption General Information Packet 3: Searching for Birth Relatives: http://naic.acf.hhs.gov/pubs/adoption_gip_three.cfm. It had some handy tips I haven't found elsewhere like the court logbooks. I'm using this journal to let off some steam as I conduct my search, but also to share information with other members of the triad. |
| Snail Mail and Shoe Leather |
Date Posted: 09-25-2005 at 04:59 PM |
| Even though I like using the Internet for searching, it seems like finding my Birth Family will involve more snail mail and shoe leather than bits and bytes. I've also found that it's a good idea to do some reading before jumping into the search! I've already given away that I'm an adoptee searching to the County Surrogate's Court where my adoption was filed. It seems that it might be better to do some general research saying it's for geneaological purposes before showing my hand. Start here: http://www.bastards.org/search/series.html |
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