Well…as most of you know I am adopted …. And I have a brother that is adopted to another family too. We share the same Mom (Sophia Odendaal – who had us when she was 18) and his name is Matthew. He is 15 months younger than me and we look like day and night …..with his Dad being Norwegian and my Dad thought to be Greek. Our names before we were adopted we Claudia and Per-Ove Odendaal.
Anyway….to cut a long story short……..a little while ago my flatmate Katie said to a whole lot of us “ Hey Guys…..you must do a search for your name on the internet and see who you share your name with.”
Well last Monday just after my law exam, I was messing around on the net and I thought I would try it out. I tried all of my names to see what would come up and never thought I would see this….
Lu is looking for Claudia & Per-Ove Odendaal (Biological Names)
Posted on Monday, April 12 @ 11:32:12 EST
Lu writes "
Claudia & Per-Ove Odendaal were both born at Addington Hospital,Durban.
Claudia's date of birth was 10th November 1976 and Per-Ove was born sometime in January in 1977/8.
They were placed in a Children's home in Sherwood,Durban, possibly at the ages of 2/3 & 3/4. they were seperated by adoption, both were adopted in 1985 at the ages of 10 and 8, by seperate families. Claudia has brown hair & brown eyes - Per-Ove has blonde hair & blue or green eyes.
If you know them or their whereabouts I would like to hear from you.
Thank you & God Bless all those in search!
My heart nearly stopped!!! It was so late at night and not thinking anything of what I was doing when I did the search…I never in my life thought that I would find someone looking for me! There was just too much personal information for it to be a hoax. …..I was a little freaked out about it.
I had to register before I could become a user on the Reunite Website which took over night so I sent all the registration details to my work so I could log on the next day and reply. By the time I went to bed I was in a state because I knew that whatever I would find out would change my life and that all the ideas that I had where I came from would change. Everything about my family and my place in it were moving and I was so worried that I would feel like a fake in someone else’s family.
I went to work the next day and posted the replies to two websites I had found. That evening I rang my Mom in SA who calmed all my fears and said that the only way is to work through all of this and that I could be enriching someone else’s life that may have been carrying guilt around for such a long time
Wednesday and Thursday came and went and I did not know how long I would wait to hear a reply – half wanting to know but half not. I checked the websites again and the last two messages were reposted in 2004.
I went to Paris on Friday for the weekend and went I came back to work on Monday morning (of this week) and this is what I found:
From: lubezz
Sent: 30 January 2005 16:49
To: Deborah Robert
Subject: RE: Claudia & Per Ove
Dear Claudia ( Deborah)
Thank you so much for responding to my messages!! God alone knows how much I have prayed for this to happen.
I am in total shock! my whole body has gone totally numb, I just hope & pray this is not a joke!
Claudia, what must I call you, Claudia or Deborah ?? I am Sophia's youngest sister, Luthia also known as Lu or Poppy.
I asked Mrs. E Weideman from the registrar of Adoptions in Pretoria to notify you that I was looking for you & Per-Ove , because I am not your biological mother she refused to let me know where you guys are, instead she said she will leave my contact details in your adoption file in case you want to seek me out.
I am so glad that I have got some response after all the years of searching!!!
I so much want to talk to you & Per - Ove but I need to know if this is really you! (Sorry for all the questions),do you remember what home you were in before you got adopted & was Per - Ove adopted by the same family? how old were you & Per - Ove when you got adopted? What color hair & eyes do you & Per - Ove have?
Please understand I am overwhelmed and before I pour my heart out, I really need to know if this is really my niece & nephew.
I hope to receive a reply from you very soon!! PLEASE don't ignore my plea's
When you have heard all you want & you decide you don't want to keep in contact, I will respect your wishes, but at this stage I ask you to please respond to my email
Thank you so much!!
Lu
I emailed Lu and gave her more information regarding the adoption registration numbers etc…that she needed.
I had always thought that I was adopted when I was 6 in 1982 when my new parents took me home. My mother then explained that we had not been declared and that had to be done first before the adoption could go through.
I was nervous but excited to have dialogue with my Aunt… but a million questions were running through my mind. Why was my mother not contacting me. Did she know that my Aunt was contacting me……..etc etc
Lu sent me another email not knowing that I had already replied to her first one. She again pleaded with me to contact her and said that she only realised (when she went to bed ) that it must have been truly me else I would not have known Sophia’s name. When her second email came through I asked her if she was on line and wanted to chat and so we did!
It was then that she received the email that I had originally sent her . She said that she thought I had not wanted to be in contact with her and was so emotional and apologised for so many questions. She asked a little on my life and I said that I would email her a photo of what I look like.
I asked her if she ever came to visit me when I was small and she said “ What a question…I used to change your nappies!” Most of you know that I went to 22 homes before I was 6 (apparantly I was quite a clever little chicken and used to call the childwelfare to tell them to come and fetch me!) My family that I have now are my true family and will always be – but my history with them only runs from 6 years old onwards. I have always had a blank space from the time before with nothing to fill in.
There are 2 things I have always wanted…..to look like someone - to feel like I belong to somebody…….and to also have some baby pictures…. to have a history and know I come from somewhere. I am sure it sounds silly but what can I say?
This was the email I got on Tuesday
From: lubezz
Sent: 01 February 2005 14:19
To: Daniel@bulldoghome.com
Subject: Att: Debbie
Dear Debbie,
Thank you so much for the email & photo! you are just as much beautiful as you were when you were young! I am so glad to hear of your very successful life, I am so proud of you! I wish you all the luck for your upcoming finals! You have done well.And your husband looks like a great guy. I'm happy for you!
I will be eternal grateful to your adoptive parents for giving you a life that Sophia could of only dreamt of giving you! She did right by signing those adoption papers, as hard as it was for her to make that decision, today I am glad she did it!
In response to your question ... Yes, my family does know about you & Matthew its just that my husband Mark did not know that I have been looking for you guys. I told him today & he was happy for me, its just that I've put him through so much with my side of the family! God alone knows how blessed I am for having him in my life! he has been my pillar of strength for the past 22 years.
I had a very troubled childhood, My father was very abusive towards my mother & us children. My mother decided to leave my father when I was 10 years old. She tried her best to raise us properly, when I was 14 I decided to run away from home & only returned at the age of 16. That is when I found out about you & Matthew.
In regard to you biological father I have never met him, but I can tell you he was not a Greek sailor! all I know is he was a drummer in a band. What happened between him and Sophia I would not know. I did meet Matthew's father & yes he is Norwegian.
Yes Sophia did try contact you & Matthew! I don't know if you are ready to hear all that I have to say, so I will leave it at that until I get further confirmation from you. I will not hide anything from you. I also don't want to lose you now that I found you, I've been searching too long!
Back to me .. My daughter's names are Avril 22yrs born on 2 /4/ 1982, Megan 17 yrs born on 30/10/ 1987 & Tara - lee 12 yrs born on 3/11/ 1992. My adopted son is Jayde 20 yrs born on 12/03/84 I adopted him in 1996 aged 11.
It will be great to meet you again! so if you ever pass through Cape Town please let me know.
I will look for some photos to send to you, Tomorrow I will scan your baby photo & send that as well. How is Matthew? have you told him that we made contact? Is he still so hard headed? gosh! he had a temper when he was young! ( ha-ha ) & you on the other hand were so timid and gentle.
Well Debs I need to end now, I look forward in hearing from you. Please let me know on what days you work and whether you have a cell number.
Take good care of yourself
Regards
Lu
I phoned Lu that evening when I got home as she had given me her numbers. Sadly….Sophia passed away in 1996 at the age of 38. She also had another child after Matthew and I were adopted. The father left her I think when Jayde was born. My Aunt adopted him at the age of 11 when Sophia passed away and he is now 20.
So I have another brother!! My brother Matthew does not yet know any of this as I can’t get hold of him but will try again on Saturday. I have promised Lu to pass on her details to him.
I explained to her that unfortunately I can’t make the decision for him to get in contact and can’t pass his details on to her……only he will know when he is ready.
.
----- Original Message -----
From: lubezz
To: Deborah ( Claudia ) Robert
Sent: Thursday, February 03, 2005 12:34 PM
Subject: Only me
Dear Debbie,
Thank you so much for your email, I truly feel blessed knowing that my family and I can be part of your life. It is what I have always prayed for and I know that Sophia is smiling down at us from heaven ... shame she would of turned 47 today! God Bless her.
In regard to Matthew ... don't stress, when the time is right & he feels he would like to make contact I will always be here for him as with you, I am just happy knowing he is ok! I will never be able to erase all the hurt and confusion the two of you had to endure whilst growing up! the only thing I can do is be there for you two, no matter how long it takes.( I have lots of patients)
I've waited for 25/26 years to find you two and my patience has paid off enormously! so I don't mind waiting until Matthew is ready.
I am so glad that you don't hold a grudge against Sophia and that you don't have any ill feelings towards her, because I know in my heart that she loved you & Matthew with all her heart & soul !! Unfortunately circumstances prevented her from getting you two back, but that was God's will! She can now rest in peace, knowing we are in contact.
I also feel a bit sad that she never had the chance to meet up with you & Matthew but God works in strange ways ... maybe the three of you would not have been strong enough .. I don't know & I don't think it's our duty to question God's will.One day when we all meet in heaven we will have the chance to find out all we needed to know, until then lets just thank him for making it possible to be a family again!
I am happy to hear that your mom is ok with our reunion! I don't mind meeting her ... really! I love & respect her for all that she has done for my lovely niece!! May God bless her abundantly for what she has done, believe me even if I had the chance of raising you & Matthew I would not been able to give you the life that she has given you!
I try my best to give my children what they need, the only thing I can give them freely is love! And that I have plenty of !! further more I am just happy to have my family .. they mean more to me than anything else in this world! & now you being part of my family .. what more can I ask for?
You can give my numbers to your mom, if she phones I would prefer it if she does so in the mornings when the children are at school or if that's not possible then maybe she can call me on my cell, that way I can have a private conversation.
Listen sweetie, I have to end my letter now as I need to go do some dinner shopping. Take care & I'll speak to you later
Regards to all
Lots of love
Lu
N.B You may call me Poppy or whatever you feel comfortable with I really don't mind!
love lots
I have forwarded you all the photos of my Aunt & Uncle, my 3 new cousins and brother. The second email that I have forwarded you are pictures of when I was small! It is so strange!
(Could just die of embarrassment and the birthday suit one!)
Anyway….now you know it all! There is just to much to retell so many times! Can you believe they live just around the corner from where we bought our place in the Cape.
Small world….Anyway…last and not least….my Mom wrote this letter to my Aunt which I received this morning ……..
Sent: 05 March 2004 18:16
To: lubezz
Cc: Deborah Robert
Subject: Happy Families!
Dear Poppy-Lu,
Last week when Debbie shared with me her discovery on the internet, I felt a
very great peace and sense of Godly purpose for her to contact you. I could
hear the fear of the unknown in her sweet voice but only reassured her that
all would go well. Thank you for never giving up on finding her and Matthew.
You will be able to answer so many of her questions...The photos look so
very wonderful and it is exciting to have a new/old family burst into our
lives. Welcome! and you all look so interesting. I feel so excited to meet
you soon, God willing!
So sorry to hear the news about Sophia...Her birthday being now as
well...She was so pretty and kind. Her features told their whole stories.
Matthew looks very much like her. Debbie has her feminity and modern style.
Debbie-Debs has blessed our days. She is a wonderful young lady. So smart,
classy, kind, generous, affectionate, intelligent...and the list could go on
and on. All this is to The Lord's glory. The Bible says: "This is The Lord's
doing and it is marvellous in our eyes." That verse sums up our child's
life. She has brought such a new dimention to our family, has gone through a
lot and come out better and not bitter. I know that because of her, we are
proud parents, so grateful to Jesus for sending her to us. We could keep you
entertained with Debbie's stories to bring tears and laughter to you eyes!
Never a dull moment! Also, because we feel that she is so special, original
and unique: we do love to share her with you all over again...Her husband
Daniel is a gentle giant of 6ft4ins! A lovely Son to us. You will love them
both tremendously.
Naturally, her emotions are tumbling like the Niagra Falls right now! She is
trying to absorb the whole lot in so short a time...May God bless her and
keep her...How fascinating is life! One does not know when a surprise will
be waiting around the bend!...I know that it will be the best for all of us.
Hopefully, she is able to sleep at night because she has a very lively
computer (brain) and it does not switch off that easily!...You will be
enchanted to meet your niece and nephew and we are already licking our
whiskers to spend time to get to know you!
Do take care, God bless you and bravo! for a super family.
Kisses to you all.
Christine.
So all is well that ends well. Sorry the update is so long but now you have it all.
Hope it did not bore you!
Have to dash but Lol
Debsxx
|
Recent Comments: