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Adoption Community Information
| patting myself on the back? |
Date Posted: 01-25-2005 at 09:07 PM |
| Well, all this posting and good reputation points (notice how you think the whole idea is stupid 'til you start getting a bunch of positive reinforcement? Maybe that was actually the idea behind it. Of course, put people in the mix and we can screw up any good idea!) Anyway, I'm not sure what need this is all feeding ... it's nice to learn from others, it's even nicer to have my own viewpoints validated, somewhere in there I feel good for (hopefully) helping other people by sharing my experience. I want to feel like all this has some actual meaning, that someone is really benefitting from something I've said, and it's not all just one big circle jerk where we all congratulate ourselves on how enlightened we are! |
| grown up? PLEASE. |
Date Posted: 01-29-2005 at 11:10 PM |
| It sucks trying to be the grown up. Deep down ... okay, not THAT deep down, I just want Amanda to go "Wow, my bdad is a dick! I never want anything to do with him. Meeting my bmom was all I ever wanted." I suppose it doesn't help that for a long time it seemed like that WAS enough for her. It just thrilled me to death when I met P and C and they told me how Amanda had wanted to find me forever. Of course, I suppose THAT little fact is at the bottom of most of the issues that P seems to still have with me. Anyway, in that "I want the best thing for my kid" mode, if she wants a relationship with her bdad, I guess it behooves me to help her make that happen as much as I can. Ick. I hate being a grown up. I suppose if I were being REALLY mature, I'd tell her that their relationship should just be between the two of them (as he requested) and that she shouldn't forward me his messages. But it's just like a big old car wreck ... don't want to see it; can't look away! |
| advice |
Date Posted: 02-10-2005 at 05:37 PM |
| The great thing about advice is that you don't HAVE to take it! I thought long and hard concerning the majority opinion about me sending a note to bdad advising him to seek out this or another adoption site; but in the end it IS my place, because no one else is going to do it! And I really believe he just doesn't GET it, the whole thing about reunions. Heck, I lucked out by doing the "right" things when Amanda and I met. So if it does nothing more than get him to print out the "Reunion Guidelines" and actually read them, it would be a step in the right direction. And that's a good thing, because if he makes my kid crazy, I'll just have to hunt him down and hurt him! lol Now it's sent, and while he may WONDER if I sent it to him, along with the baby shower announcement, since I typed it, it doesn't matter one way or the other! |
| maybe it's time to POP the balloon |
Date Posted: 02-13-2005 at 11:39 PM |
| Okay, this rep thing is going to my head, and yet on the other hand I wonder why on earth these people actually agree with me! Like I know what the heck I'm talking about! I'm in a marginally dysfunctional relationship that I just can't seem to care enough about one or the other to fix it or get the heck out ... I like the house, don't really want to leave. We get along just fine as long as I set my expectations low enough ... how pathetic is that? I can't get my finances straight to save my life these days, I can't keep myself disciplined enough to stay off the internet during working hours ... yet I can just pour these fabulous typed words out my fingertips and they sound sort of profound, even to me! Oh, well, fake it 'til you make it. |
 Recent Comments: |
| Re: control? |
By Scarlet Moon 13(10-19-2006 at 11:42 AM) |
| To my knowledge only 7 states have laws on the books in support of open adoption. So far none have enforced those laws.. So sayth Barbara Walters.. open adoption is still in the hands of the adoptive parents. They can keep it open or close it at any time. Bparents have no rights once the adoption is final. They can only hope the aparents are honest people and will keep their promises. But, for many what sounds so great to them when they make the promise becomes hard to keep. Either they really had no idea how they would feel once they got the child, or in a few cases, never intended to keep it open. |
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