Yesterday we met a woman who lives outside of Champaign who said she wants US to adopt her baby! I think I'm going crazy!
So, on Friday, May 6th I get a phone call on the baby line from a woman named Michelle who is early in her pregnancy and wants to make an adoption plan for this baby. She saw our ad in her local newspaper. She is pregnant with her 4th child. She is parenting the other 3 by herself. Each of the 4 children have different fathers. She's in the process of her 2nd divorce. The current husband is not the father of this baby. Wow. She's got a lot going on.
She's 36 years old. She trying to run a flea market business from her home as well as selling Avon. She says she just can't afford another child, even tho, some day, she'd like another child. This just isn't the time.
She wants to meet us!
She wants us to meet her other children!
Ok. I need to calm down. I tell her I'll call her within a few days, after talking to Mike, and we'll schedule a day for us to drive down to meet her.
Monday, I call her and we agree to meet on Thursday at 4 pm. We'll drive to her house... she wants to meet there instead of out someplace so "we'll have a quiet place to talk."
Ok, again, I need to calm down.
So, we make the 5/6 hour drive to Champaign on Thursday morning and get to her house right at 4 pm. It is apparent from the get go that this is a family strapped for money. All the lights in the house are turned off... all of them. She says it's because she gets migrains and the darkness helps. I don't know. I wonder if she can't pay the electrical bill.
She talks about her kids... their fathers... the struggles she's having collecting alimony... the fights the older boy, Corey, gets into... the "experimenting" she's done with drugs. She says she doesn't do drugs now... she tried a lot of things, but never got addicted and doesn't do anything now. She defends her smoking habit by telling me about her grandmother who never smoked and died of cancer... at 95 years old.
We order a couple of pizzas for everyone and we sit outside on the stoop... had to get some fresh air... it was hotter than h*ll in the house. The kids seem to ease in the comfort a bit and they're so gratefull for the pizza. They hover over the plate of chocolate chip cookies we made and brought, waiting for their mom to say they could have one.
Michelle says she's not considering any other people for adoption. She likes us and thinks we'll make "great" parents. 
It becomes apparent that she and the father have some serious misconceptions about how adoption works... he told her he'd sign whatever adoption papers she wants if she gives him half of whatever we give her for the baby... *sigh*
I explain to her that that's illegal and that, yes, we can help with expences, but, no, we will not be buying a baby. Her responce? It was not, "I'll have to think about this." It was not, "oh, now what do I do." Instead, it was, "well, then he gets half of nothing!"
She says she'll have to work on the father. I wonder how big of a risk this is.
The legal husband? She's been separated from him since 2000 and has no idea where he lives. I wonder how big of a risk this is too.
By the time we left, *four*hours*later!* the youngest son, Dillan, was sitting on Mike's lap giggling. Michelle and I hugged twice and I promised to call her with information on who she should contact next. She said she was eager to get the father and husband's paperwork started.
So, what is the risk?
Does she really want *us* as much as it seems?
Is this *really* going to happen for us?
Do we really want to commit ourselves to a woman who is only 6 - 12 weeks pregnant?
Dear God, please guide us as we tread these unfamiliar waters. |
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