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Adoption Community Information
| January 15,2005 |
Date Posted: 01-15-2005 at 09:15 PM |
| Feeling some better today. We signed on a new house on Friday, its nice brand new they are still working on it, we should be in it by the first week in March. I need to get busy and go through all this stuff and get rid of all the stuff we dont really need. Im finding myself not wanting to even talk about adoption these days. I guess Im just trying to keep myself from obsessing over why my reunions are not going well. The new house will be a welcome distraction, I will be too busy to think for awhile. Gosh, I hate moving!!!!. Once its done I know I will feel good about it, but the move is such a pain in the rear. So much stuff to do.Im even wondering if I should bother to tell J and A we are moving, will they even care. P robably not, wont even hear from them I dont imagine. But yes, I guess I will let them know where we are moving and contact info. Thats all for now. |
| Good Gosh!!1 |
Date Posted: 05-01-2005 at 04:34 PM |
| Good grief I was a depressing broad in January!!. Things are brighter now, its a beautiful spring day. I have not heard from A since November, but I refuse to let that ruin my life, as much as I want her in my life, if she doesnt want to be there, i cant do anything about it. Things with J seem to be going a little better. I am blessed. the move went well and we are so happy in the new house.Once again we are blessed. We worked in the yard some today it was nice feeling the dirt in my hands, it felt like life. We planted tomatoes , watermelons for the kids and cucumbers. Maybe they will actually grow, that would be amazing, I have such a brown thumb, nothing grows for me, but i dont stop trying. More thoughts later. |
| Mother's Day |
Date Posted: 05-08-2005 at 02:56 PM |
| Today was the best Mother's Day ever. My relinquished son came to visit last night, and he stayed and spent the night. He and my son at home, stayed up all night playing music(they both play guitar) and talking. I have waited so long to have both of my boys together like that, so relaxed and just getting to know each other. I just stepped back and just watched. What an amzing sight for me. Then this morning he was still here and for the first time wished me a Happy Mother's Day. I waited almost 23 years to hear that!!!. I am walking in the clouds today. The weather is terrible here, but as far as I am concerned the sun is shining at my house today. Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there, may you have a Blessed day filled with all the love you deserve. |
| 4th of July weekend |
Date Posted: 07-03-2005 at 07:23 PM |
| Today was a very relaxing day, I spent alot of time in the pool today, and even got a little tan. I have decided to take a break from all this adoption stuff, it was consuming me. J is being kind enough to give me some space. I needed it. I spoke with A's amom about 2 weeks ago, and she just didnt understand why A hasnt been in contact with me. It was a very good conversation, we got alot of old thoughts and feelings out of the way. Years ago, when A was about 4-5, I had asked them to call me for an update, it never happened. She told me after all these years that she wished she had called. I had forgotten until she reminded me. Anyway, she confessed to me that she was terrified to call me, she was thinking that I wanted A back!!. I told her her fears were unfounded, I would have been thrilled to have her, but I would not go against our agreement in any way. The decision had been made years ago, and in my mind was final, I could not have done it legaly anyway. So it made me wonder, how many aparents are acting out of fear?? As a birthparent, I can't even relate to what aparents are feeling, I just know my own pain and experience. But I do wonder. She even invited me to lunch!! Hows that for blowing my mind. All in all it was a pleasant call, and Im glad I did it, if for no other reason, to hear the voice of the woman that raised our daughter, and to let her hear me, the woman who gave birth and carried her with love. I think a bridge has been built. Have a blessed holiday all!!! |
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