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Part of: My Journey of Hope. Just Me Again. |
Date Posted: 10-29-2008 at 11:05 AM Comments(0) |
| Well here I am making another entry in my journal with nothing new or promising to write about. I am so lonely for my daughter,so sad with missing her and wanting to hold her next to me. Maybe I am in love with an illusion,who knows. I only know that from the moment that little girl came in this world I loved her with a love as great as my heart could stand. I have searched for her for 42 years never giving up hope only to find her and realize there never was any hope for us. All these years I have longed for her,dreamed of how it could or should have been.We were cheated out of our life together! Now she has no need of me in her life.I am just someone who had her and gave her away. As many times as I go over those horrid days when she was ripped from me I cannot see how I could have done any different. I ran away while pregnant but having no money or place to go I had to go back home. What could I have done? Lord please send some peace about this because my heart is breaking. I wanted so much for us to have some kind of relationship but she doesn`t seem to want anything from me. Not even the email contact we did have for awhile. Why can`t I get through to her? Why can`t she love me just a little? Everday I look for an email but nothing. All I can hope for now is that she is happy in her life. I guess I can only keep hanging on and pray that she needs me someday as much as I need her. I miss you little one and I send you all my love. |
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