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i'm a horrble mother
Date Posted: 03-11-2005 at 01:10 PM Comments(0)
So, my birthdaughter's first birthday was last month. Big deal, big day, first birthday, I mean, that's huge!!

I got her a gift, and a card, and.... have yet to send them out

I don't know if it's that part of me that's stepping back, and trying to reposition myself in the life I have now, or if it really is the 'excuse' of finances I've been using for the past month, (not really an excuse, has been quite tight, but still!).... I don't know what's wrong with me... I just can't pull myself to send this gift... Can't pull myself to write a letter, or even write out the card! It's still sitting just as I bought it on a shelf in my closet... How sad am I???

I don't have an urge to send it... I was more interested in sending my ex-mother-in-law a birthday gift than I was in sending this one to Angel....

What's wrong with me?

Sometimes I just feel like she's a tie to a life I don't have, or want anymore... I love her with all my heart, but with that, I have this heavy heart telling me it's time to let go completely... Let her have her life, and let me have mine...

So, why did I even buy the gift? The card? Why do I try every morning to write her a letter, and instead stare at a blank page??


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