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Part of: SweetnStuff's Journal March 26 |
Date Posted: 03-26-2006 at 08:34 PM Comments(0) |
| I woke up this morning and I felt confused. It took me a while to decipher where I was… and who I was. It was the first time this has happened – since I met you. Generally I am able to keep the two of me separate and I’m painfully, consciously aware of where I am at, and which me I am at the moment. But this morning was different. When I awoke, for a brief few moments, I felt like the person that I am when I am with you. I looked around; there was my pink elephant that I hung on my ceiling the day after we met, yes, there too was the monotonous, familiar four walls - it took only a few minutes before I realized that I was in my bedroom – the real one – just a few moments before I became agonizingly aware of my surroundings – the real ones. Or is it the phony ones? Strangely, I don’t even know. So, I forced myself out of bed and walked out my door and stepped into my real world. I was in a bad mood. Mom made some waffles and if she hadn’t set out my plate at the dining room table – I would have opted to go back to bed. But that never works either. Don’t you hate that it is impossible to get back into that dream state after awakening? No matter how hard you try, it won’t work. No matter how much I wish today would have had a different outcome, it didn’t. Halfway through breakfast, dad started complaining that I hadn’t put the Pepsi cans in the fridge. The waffles were doughy anyway. The doorbell rang later and it was Chris. The one thing in the real world that makes me glad it’s real. I took a shower and went to his l house, his real house, his real mom, his real dad and his real siblings. Maybe the future holds some happy reality after all. |
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