| Welcome to the Forums. | Register |
| If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ. You may have to register before you can post or search: click here to proceed. To start viewing messages, select a forum below that you would like to view or click View All of Todays Posts. | |
| Forum Categories |
|
Part of: ermiller's Journal on the beginning of an open adoption |
Date Posted: 02-11-2005 at 09:40 PM Comments(0) |
| Lately, I have thinking about my daughter's birthfamily. Probably because the hearing for parental rights termination is this week Wednesday. Her birthmom is young, still finishing high school and I know she is anxious to get the hearing over with. We offered to go with her but she decided she would rather just go with her counselor and her family, which I totally understand. If I were in her shoes, I probably wouldn't want in essence a reminder of what the hearing meant right there in front of me. When we meet, she seems to be doing all right with the adoption plan but I wonder if she really is or is it just a front she puts on for us. She always seems to be thanking us for being willing to visit, send her pictures, and give her updates about Natalie. Other than following through on what we say we are going to do, I wish I knew how to reassure her. I mean we want her to be a part of Natalie's life. Maybe it is because we are still at the beginning of our relationship. L's family is great. We've only seen L's parents once since Natalie was born but we are supposed to go there on Sunday for a visit, so I hope they are there. Again, we hope they will continue to be a part of Natalie's life as she grows up. It is really important to us that that connection is there for her. But I don't want to force anything on them they don't want to do. On her birthfather, M.... I think about him but I don't really know how I feel. I am all for birthfathers' rights but, in this case, while he has known since the beginning that L was pregnant and making an adoption plan, he has avoided nearly all contact with L, with the agency, with anyone who has tried to reach him. He knows Natalie is here but he hasn't done anything. How would I feel if he showed up the hearing and asked for custody? Devastated, angry that he waited so long. I know that there are those who say that no matter what birthfathers should have automatic custody if the birthmother signs off...but if they deliberately avoid the mother during her pregnancy, do not acknowledge the baby's arrival, and then three months later, decide they are entitled to parent because they have a biological tie, that bothers me. Most likely, based on all previous conversations and opinions of those who know him, he won't show at the hearing but I have an underlying fear that he will. We already determined if he did want contact, we would be willing to help set up a relationship. I don't know, I'm tired...think I will go to bed |
All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:15 PM.
